The podcast on the Ceremonial Grief Concert is now live

To Grieve is a podcast by our friends Inviting Abundance, that builds on the essay of the same name, which seeks to help people open to grief in order to live life more fully and purposefully. Our episodes feature thoughtful meditations on our world and conversations about the intersections between living, grieving, healing, and perseverance. Our podcast helps us to explore the many forms that a creative grief practice can take. Thanks for listening! Also Check out their BLOG

“To Grieve.”

Third Messenger Radio Hour

“When you cannot add days to your life, add life to your days” Anonymous As we immerse into the sacred well we want to prepare the ground and nurture the site slowly, organically meaning naturally as we listen and learn so feedback is welcomed. We are careful not to add clutter to the landscape thus avoiding adding confusion to our guest experience. Simple is better.  So here are some resource that we offer and links to engage the sacred and shine radiantly.  “We have discovered that dying is deeply disturbing, painful, sad; and that it is the mysterious source of all radiance”. – Martha de Barros co-founder of the  Zen Hospice Project.

The Third Messenger mission is to provide a venue for Asheville’s creative, historical and cultural voice of the community and to broadcast that particular voice to the world via all that is unique about our artistic and cultural heritage.

Each week Thirdmessenger radio hour is offering Asheville unique coverage, a global perspective on the culture of being with dying. Our segments include interviews, music, round the world coverage and an ear on the conversation of the art of being with dying. Your future awaits!

Our format: 60 minutes of being and dying movement

a four segment show:

  • the arts and dying
  • music
  • public conversation in media
  • interviews

Where to listen to the show:

On Soundcloud visit at

soundcloud banner

Mobile app; Download the TuneIn app to your mobile device and listen to live broadcasts or to archived shows.

Archived shows: Go to the Third Messenger Radio Hour page on WPVM’s website and scroll down to view and listen to past shows.



Just as a wheel cannot turn without a stationary hub, the movement reaches back to the deep and still roots of our collective history for its axle. A reach extending into the areas of the great wisdom traditions as well as indigenous healing rites,  because they remember a different history and that memory brings an uncommon appreciation of their place in time. Simply stated they possess patience the qualities inherent in the great healing cultures, in the time that defines one’s life, the relationship one has to the earth is the constant and true gauge that determines the integrity of one’s culture the meaning of one’s existence, and the peacefulness of one’s heart. Every single particle, thought, and being, even our dreaming, is the environment, and what we do to one another is reflected on earth just as surely as what we do to the earth is reflected on our diseases and discontents. What constitutes meaning for human beings are events, memories, and small dignities – gifts that rarely emerged from institutions, and never from theory. The movement only happens one person at a time. To see what is invisibly in front of us requires a shift in our conception of change and power. Paul Hawken  from Blessed Unrest with minor tinkering.

bid asheville

before I die bike

Before I die … profoundly inspires.  Laid to rest April 2019. Thanks Asheville for a great run !!!!!

The movement lives in dying unrest an urban revival movement that speaks the language of caring and opens the conversation to Being with dying. Before I die … profoundly inspires and has engaged people globally. When we /you join the revolution the wheel of compassion turns and in turn Being and Dying radiate . A model of pure creative compassion. This is why YOUTUBE  and Ted are a service in engaged compassion.

Conversation Project l

The Conversation Project opening into the quite

The Conversation Project is dedicated to helping people talk about their wishes for end-of-life care.  Too many people are dying in a way they wouldn’t choose, and too many of their loved ones are left feeling bereaved, guilty, and uncertain. It’s time to transform our culture so we shift from not talking about dying to talking about it. It’s time to share the way we want to live at the end of our lives. And it’s time to communicate about the kind of care we want and don’t want for ourselves. – See more at:

Lets have dinner

Lets Have Dinner and Talk about death /

21 Leaders in Healthcare Partner to Support the Cause . The University of Washington Master of Communication in Digital Media (MCDM) program today announced the launch of Let’s Have Dinner and Talk about Death – a project created to foster proactive and constructive conversations about end-of-life decisions. Designed for both intimacy and accessibility, the Let’s Have Dinner and Talk about Death project leverages the physical dinner table as its centerpiece, and provides additional opportunities for engagement online at The current microsite documents the work that has been completed to date. A full interactive version of the project’s engagement platform, designed by Seattle-based firm CIVILIZATION, JUST launched this summer of 2013.

death cafe

 What is Death Cafe /

At Death Cafes people come together in a relaxed and safe setting to discuss death, drink tea and eat delicious cake. The objective of Death Cafe is “To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives”. Jon Underwood founded Death Cafe in 2011 based on the work of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz. Bernard offered ‘Cafe Mortels’ in Switzerland and France. Jon read of this in a newspaper article in November 2010. Jon was already developing a project to get people talking about death and immediately knew that Bernard’s vision clicked with his. Death Cafe is part of a set of projects by Jon about death and dying calledImpermanence. The first Death Cafe took place in Jon’s basement in September 2011 and was facilitated by Sue Barsky Reid. Following this, Sue developed a model for running Death Cafes that we have used ever since. This involves creating a safe, convivial setting where discussions are led by the group.

Affiliated Groups:

death salon movement

Visit this grand mix of new thinkers on the art of Dying

Welcome to Death Salon, a gathering of intellectuals, scholars and independent thinkers engaged in the exploration of our shared mortality. Cultural death practices–from Dia de los Muertos to sky burial to the veneration of remains and reliquary–

order ofgood death

Death invites in a new team of professionals

The Order of the Good Death was founded in January of 2011 by Caitlin, a mortician and writer living in Los Angeles, CA. Since then, the Order has expanded to include filmmakers, poets, musicians, artists, and writers exploring ways to prepare a death phobic culture for their inevitable mortality.
The Order is about making death a part of your life.

Patient Commando support guide

Patient Commando a guide to empower / We’re here to help!

Patient Commando is committed to helping patients become better equipped to manage their healthcare. Our support system gives patients an arsenal of skills and tools to take command (o) of their healthcare.



Mission To introduce remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby with a free gift of professional portraiture. Our Work NILMDTS trains, educates, and mobilizes professional quality photographers to provide beautiful heirloom portraits to families facing the untimely death of an infant.  We believe these images serve as an important step in the family’s healing process by honoring the child’s legacy.

playing for change

The great healing that brightens the journey … Move to Stand by Me

A generation ago Norman Cousins introduced laughter as a great healer , today’s generation celebrates music as a great healer. Join the movement and listen to the soulful healing joy and laughter in these YouTube jewels.


bevival | A gathering place for death literacy and the future of dying


/what-is-bevivalbevival (being + revival) is a death literacy platform, mindset and a movement. D2KDUSA, Long Before The End Book Group and Podcast, Celebrating Aging 

Center for End Of Life Transition

The Center for End of Life Transitions is an all-faiths project of Anattasati Magga, Inc., a Buddhist Sangha for the Laity. We are a nonprofit organization with an all Volunteer staff.

Clear Light Society

CLS assisting the terminally ill and their families, was founded in Boston, Massachusetts in 1977. Since that time, countless families and their dying loved ones have been helped by the wide range of practices developed and pioneered by Founding Teacher Patricia Shelton.

CNA Training

Conscious Dying Institute http://Conscious Dying Institute

Conscious Dying Educator Certificate. Conscious Dying Educator Certificate (CDE) prepares graduates of “Sacred Passage: End Of Life Doula Certificate” to implement Conscious DyingEducation programs in their local communities and care systems as coaches and facilitators; to broaden the reach of Conscious Dying Education in colleges of nursing, faith-based groups, senior communities.

Doorway into Light

Active in the Maui and global community since 2006 . They opened their first retail store, THEDEATHSTORE, offering goods and services for the dying, their families and all who may die one day. We wish to help reinvent and revolutionize the funeral home and bring it further into the commons and the cultural conversation.

Mission  /  wish to support the work of souls, especially in the time of the dying of the physical body. To support, educate and empower families and communities to reclaim their roles of caring for the dying, and for the dead, and in bringing forth ritual and ceremony.

Metta Institute

Metta Institute’s primary program is the End-of-Life Practitioner Program. The goal of the innovative training is to establish a national network of educators, advocates and guides for those facing life-threatening illness and the individuals and systems that serve them.

Natural transitions

A non-profit RESOURCE CENTER 501(c) (3) providing education on conscious, holistic, and green approaches to end of life, including family-directed home-based after-death care also known as “home funerals.”

Orphan Wisdom 

Stephen Jenkinson  is redefining what it means to live, and die well. Apprenticed to a master storyteller, he has worked extensively with dying people and their families, is former programme director in a major Canadian hospital, former assistant professor in a prominent Canadian medical school, consultant to palliative care and hospice organizations and educator and advocate in the helping professions.

Pallimed Arts and Humanity

Pallimed was founded on June 8th, 2005 by Drew Rosielle, MD as a way to keep track of interesting articles from many different journals that were relevant to palliative care.  The cope of the blog has expanded to include reviewing media coverage of hospice and palliative care issues.

RIGPA International,

Rigpa’s Spiritual Care program offers practical ways in which the wisdom and compassion of the Buddhist teachings can benefit those facing illness or death, and help support their families and care-givers. 

 Sacred Art of Living, Bend,OR. Death and Life                 

The Sacred Art of Living and Dying. We believe in:

  • Spirituality in Everyday Life: The importance of integrating spirituality into every dimension of human activity.
  • Death and Life: The Sacred Art of Living and Dying as a compelling teacher of life’s most important priorities.
  • Deepening Vocation: By bringing into alignment our “soul and role.”
  • Common Ground: Working collaboratively to establish common ground with persons of all faith traditions.
  • Wisdom Taproot: Reclaiming the wisdom inherited through our Judeo-Christian tradition.

Upaya Zen Center, Being with Dying Program, Santa Fe, NM

Upaya is the Sanskrit word for “skillful means” or “the craft of compassion.”

The current offering is a professional training program is called Being with Dying: Professional Training Program in Contemplative End-of-Life Care (BWD). Hundreds of healthcare professional have been through the training and many educational programs have implemented the BWD training content as their focus.

Nursing Home Abuse Center  founded to shine a light on the widespread abuse and neglect that occurs in nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Nearly 1 out of 3 nursing homes has been issued citations for abuse. Elder abuse takes many forms, including physical and emotional abuse, financial exploitation and neglect. Our mission is to educate seniors and their loved ones on the appropriate actions they can take.

Hospice Resources

Here you can search to locate a hospice in your area; learn more about general hospice resources for patients, their families, or professionals; and discover excellent resources on the connection between Buddhism and end-of-life care.

  • National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
    The NHPCO is the largest nonprofit membership organization representing hospice and palliative care programs and professionals in the United States. The site has a searchable engine for hospices around the country by state and county, as well as facts and figures about US palliative care, job openings, and educational opportunities for professionals.
  •’s Death and Dying site
    This site provides discussion forums, current articles for the general public, and collects resources on a variety of related topics, from spirituality to euthanasia to teen grief to signs of dying and more. Oriented to the general public.
  • Hospice Foundation of America
    HFA is a nonprofit organization that promotes hospice care and works to educate professionals and the families they serve in issues relating to caregiving, terminal illness, loss, and bereavement.
  • HEAL Project
    The Hospice Educators Affirming Life (HEAL) Project is an organization primarily focused on advancing volunteerism in hospice. It offers a number of valuable resources including a helpful e-magazine, Hospice Volunteer News, that is aimed at volunteers and volunteer coordinators. It is also encouraging the development of a Hospice Volunteer Association (HVA) and a national Hospice Volunteer Training Institute (HVTI).
  • Zen Hospice Project
    Inspired by a 2,500 year-old tradition, Zen Hospice Project was the first Buddhist hospice in America. Guided for 17 years by Frank Ostaseski, the program continues under new leadership and aims at cultivating wisdom and compassion through service. ZHP provides a spectrum of collaborative services in end-of-life care, including residential hospice care, volunteer programs, and public education events, which support mutually beneficial relationships among caregivers and individuals facing death.


Steven Levine: Who Dies?: An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying, A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last

Sherwin Nuland: How We Die: Reflections of Life’s Final Chapter

Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelly: Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: On Death and Dying (Scribner Classics)

David Kessler: The Needs of the Dying: A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life’s Final Chapter

Ira Byock: Dying Well

Stephen Jenkinson: Die Wise

Frank Ostaseski: Five Invitations

Atul Gawande: Being Mortal

Book of the year

In Love with the World: A Monk’s Journey through the Bardos of Living and Dying

In June 2011, the abbot of Tergar Monastery in Bodhgaya, India, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, snuck out of his own monastery, leaving behind a letter explaining his intention to do a wandering retreat for the next several years—to beg for alms and sleep on village streets and in mountain caves.

The youngest son of the esteemed Tibetan Buddhist meditation master Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche and a world-known teacher in his own right, Mingyur Rinpoche explains in his new book, In Love with the World: A Monk’s Journey through the Bardos of Living and Dying, that he aspired to shed the protections and privileges he had enjoyed his whole life and to let go of his outer identities in order to explore a deeper experience of being. He was away for four and a half years, returning in the fall of 2015.

This exceptional journey captured with such raw and honest telling that it brings all the Bardo teachings into new heights to such an extent that Pema Chödrön calls it “One of the most inspiring books I have ever read”.

The quinessential work on Dying


A quintessential work of heart and soul. An anamcara companion.

In being with my daughter as her guide throughout her living with Cancer and in Hospice as she was dying “The American Book of Living and Dying” was a constant source of succor. It stands as the best work for making this glorious and mysterious journey, the other is the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. This third party review found on Amazon captures the power and depth of this quintessential work. “I’ve been reading a number of books on care for the dying to produce an annotated bibliography for the hospice where I volunteer. I’ve read seventeen so far – this is by far the best. It is the richest, most complete book I have seen. Richard Groves was a Roman Catholic priest for fifteen years, then left to get married and start a family. He has been a hospice chaplain for over thirty years, speaks nine languages, and began the Sacred Art of Living Center in Oregon. The book contains a lot more than any other book I’ve seen. Part I begins with description of historical writings on death, the Egyptian Book of the Dead, Celtic Books of the Dead, Gnostic Books for the Living and Dying, the Tibetan Book of the Dead, and Monastic Books of the Dead. These are summarized concisely and it is interesting to see how much the cultures that produced them had in common in their views of death and what the dying need. The rest of this Part discusses spiritual suffering and how to diagnose the psycho-spiritual conditions that lead to suffering. These are the pains of Meaning, Forgiveness, what he calls the “common cold” of the human spirit, Relatedness,and Hopelessness, what he calls the “terminal illness of the human spirit.” This Part ends with discussions of how to be an “anamcara”, a Gaelic term meaning “soul friend”. The rest of the book focuses on the anamcara, who could be a family member, friend, chaplain or hospice staff member or volunteer.  It’s very good way to keep the focus broad enough to include anyone who might be involved.

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The great wisdom traditions breath into compassionate action, this work a guide for the heart of compassion

Not being a Buddhist but having a strong affinity by way of Thomas Merton’s personal journey with Buddhism has given me a life long passion for the Buddhist way through a the practice of “lectio devina – divine reading” and has for two generations given many a non-buddhist reader a profound sense of the heart of the Bodhisattva way – Compassion. This work is the jewel of that way and is one of the primary teaching for living and dying. This review will invite all to become familiar with this essential newly revised work. “This acclaimed spiritual masterpiece is widely regarded as one of the most complete and authoritative presentations of the Tibetan Buddhist teachings ever written. A manual for life and death and a magnificent source of sacred inspiration from the heart of the Tibetan tradition, The Tibetan Book Of Living and Dying provides a lucid and inspiring introduction to the practice of meditation, to the nature of mind, to karma and rebirth, to compassionate love and care for the dying, and to the trials and rewards of the spiritual path”.

Books: Steven Levine: Who Dies?: An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying, A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last Sogyal Rinpoche: The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying: The Spiritual Classic & International Bestseller; Revised and Updated Edition Sherwin Nuland: How We Die: Reflections of Life’s Final Chapter Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelly: Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying 
 Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: On Death and Dying (Scribner Classics) David Kessler: The Needs of the Dying: A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life’s Final Chapter Ira Byock: Dying Well

Books: Steven Levine: Who Dies?: An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying, A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last Sogyal Rinpoche: The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying: The Spiritual Classic & International Bestseller; Revised and Updated Edition Sherwin Nuland: How We Die: Reflections of Life’s Final Chapter Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelly: Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying 
 Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: On Death and Dying (Scribner Classics) David Kessler: The Needs of the Dying: A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life’s Final Chapter Ira Byock: Dying Well

Top Shelf


Heartbreak  New Approaches To Healing

This review is from: Heartbreak: New Approaches to Healing – Recovering from lost love and mourning (Paperback) Ginette Paris is Simply Elegant once again! Neuroscience and literature, Beethoven and iphones, new pathways for deepening guided Imagery of Heartbreak. The following is an older review from amazon but worthy of fresh consideration. I had a copy of Heartbreak at my daughter’s house and when she passed away this last June something inside said take it back to Asheville with you.As the days after Eva’s death stung my every fiber with sadness and grief I picked up Heartbreak and immediately began to identify with the narratives from the rich case stories that Ms  Paris fit into her rich mosaic Heartbreak. Without question the wisdom and compassion and love that this work transmits will bring insights into the heartbreak of loss and the pathway to gracefully mend the heartbreak. The emotional power of a Seeing the richness of dancing in the center of a  Heartbreak is the shadow that swells particles of brilliance into our human-ness, a grace and gift. A worthy read !!!!! The following is the review:  Heartbreak knows no limits to loss, loss either in a relationship or with a loss of one’s health as in chronic illness often becoming an encounter with heartbreak. In Ms Paris’ new work subtitled new approaches to healing she continues to draw from deep within storytelling, and opening readers to the essence of the quality of one’s humanity. In her first chapter she shares such a vignette, in what her client professes to be in a state of “love madness”. His story an ordinary story of an ordinary heartbreak happening to an average, so-called normal and functioning individual while being archetypical because beyond the idiosyncrasies, his experience exemplifies the profound emotions of all heartbreaks. Ms Paris draws on her Jungian roots as an archetypal storyteller weaving a basic melody: “whatever variations you may add, however you mix and arrange the score, you can still recognize the melody. Hearing the first four notes of Beethoven’s ninth Symphony on someone’s iPhone is enough to identify the whole complex symphony. The melody of heartbreak is similar: it is a timeless and universal score in which you can recognize the basic emotions, regardless of the individual variations.” Simplicity is beautiful; simplification is dangerous   Simplistic approaches not only fail when a real obstacle presents itself, they also add to the collective burden of ignorance by confusing science with magical thinking, psychology with hocus-pocus tricks. Again, Ms. Paris is demonstrates a keen sense to extrapolate a Jungian perspective on symbolism, storytelling, image development while never ever losing her own ground which is free of a psychosocial viewpoint embedded in the culture of the United States. She embodies a broader depth one rooted in her French-Canadian culture. Thus she is able to draw from resources outside the traditional realm of current psychotherapy, psychology and literature expanding our menu of gifted writers.   Her art is the art of literary therapy the sharing of stories – “I am convinced that the person suffering the torture of heartbreak can, and should, be helped by all possible means: neuroscience and literature, medication and meditation, people and films, massages and humor, friendships and therapy, deep thinking and depth psychology.”   As a rule I have a tendency to skim over case studies because too often they are formulaic in their presentation- background, introduction to the problem, the issues, the problem, finally the treatment and outcome-neatly arranged case after case-not here. Paris is a skilled poet writer giving her work the depth and heart that engages the spirit of healing while unfolding case studies.   Paris the therapist reminds us that an evolutionary jump after a trauma, is possible only if one understands that the recovery process is not getting back to normal. What one was, because the definition of what feels good and normal has to change. Like a mutation, or like developing immunity to a psychological virus, a new identity must emerge.   The crux of this material is entering recovery that has transformative power, its value that Ginette Paris so skillfully explores becomes more than its title “Heartbreak” and is a healing journey that mirrors our collective humanity for all of us to reflect upon.. A healing journey that fits our current psychosocial notion of nested and interacting systems, that of neurogensis (neuronal pathways – your brain) is truly the epitome of an interactive process, a co-creation. It matters and is of little importance whether or not it was framed in this book as that of heartbreak or trauma of illness in that they all contribute or fail to contribute to building new synaptic connections that make us who we are, who we become, how we evolve , thrive entering states of recovery or regress.   Paris moves toward closure circling back to the sciences “neuroscientists have been able to explain how the brain’s plasticity (its capacity for neuronal reconfiguration) depends on our capacity to imagine and then to try new ways of being. Science has demonstrated the necessity of a rich inner life, the health of our neurons; yet, delivering a rich inner life is not a full ownership of science. In other words, neuroscience, per se, cannot open our imagination, deepen our psyche, produce symbols; that capacity belongs relationships, to art, to depth psychology and to the humanities”.   Her approach to the sciences is reader friendly, non-clinical again with a story teller gift “The plasticity of the brain is like an appetite for learning: if you feed it junk, it produces junk knowledge”. She also is connecting inner and outer disciplines. “What I mean by getting an education is not to get a diploma, but rather to open up to the deeper aspects of learning, ones that touch both the heart and intellect and activate neurogenesis…. One could as well use a simple spiritual term: being initiated, because both the notions of education and that of initiation implying intense intellectual adventure, combined with intense emotional engagement”.   Guided Imagery and symbolism   This work is both educational and transformative. Educational in that if it delves into the neuropsychology of human development: “the neocortical development that qualifies us as humans gave us the use of language, the ability to write, the capacity for logical informal operational thinking. It also gave us the abilities that are responsible for the development of the arts and the humanities because we humans need to symbolize, metaphorize and invent stories. We imagine ahead, we daydream, we fantasize; and it is only after the deployment of imagination that we are motivated to use rational means to make our dreams come true. You’ll need to update absolutely all those connections: symbolic and factual, the right emotional hemisphere as well as the left rational hemisphere”.   Readers engaged in the work of guided imagery, in deepening the exploration of image creation and imagination will find this work a journey of discovery in finding textures to incorporate, images,symbols, a new inner vocabulary, a deeper well, a richer palette for accessing imagination as we are reminded by Paris as she draws upon her resources, “re-telling facts is not enough – but finding the images and metaphors for our situation will force open a deeper wholeness a well of imagination”. Here then is “Heartbreak” the catalyst, its message, heartbreak is messy business and so is giving birth, life’s traumas are if seen as transformative a kind of yoga of healing. Heartbreak,New Approaches To Healing